me on tumblr at 2 a.m. all in my feelings, posting like 20 thinkpieces about my trauma(s), my identity, who broke my heart in the past 3 years & why, & finishing with “i guess i’ll just go cry” before going to sleep
Someone’s tone changes for even a split second and it’s like suddenly you can’t focus on anything but for the fact that you MUST have done something to upset them and you need to either fix it or just shut up
what she says: “Oh I don’t mind; we can eat anywhere. I’m not picky.”
what she means: “For my entire life, I’ve been called bossy/picky/selfish/arrogant/bitchy for voicing my own opinions and making my views known, so now when someone I care about asks me about what I want, my immediate gut reaction is to defer to the other person’s preference. it’s less of a hassle to capitulate to someone else’s desires than to risk having someone verbally berate me for being truthful about what I want.”
me in the middle of the night feeling suddenly productive: tomorrow is the day i start getting my life together!! :) i’m going to make a list of everything i need to get done, which includes exercising, drinking water, and getting ahead on my school work!! i’m going to be a great person and finally feel happy once i get this routine down!! :))